Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
