Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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