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babies were throwing up all over the place
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
