I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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