You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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