I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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