hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
