how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
