I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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