Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i love accidental penises.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
