We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
