If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
