I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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