Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
