Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
