And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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