So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
