Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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