I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize