somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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