wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
