my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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