If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
