I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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