I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
