i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
