K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
