Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
