if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize