Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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