And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Less talking, more tequila
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
