I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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