Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I am morally bankrupt
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
