I cut my penus on the lid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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