The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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