Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
