just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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