I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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