Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
