Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
