yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
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I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand