shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
