There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
