Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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