Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
