So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
