ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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