cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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