You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
