your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why do cheetos always look like penises
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
