Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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