I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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