it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
