and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
