just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
