Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
